Negative energy

Yesterday I spent a significant portion of my day either working with Reiki.  I gave four treatments, one of which was to an elderly and wheelchair bound friend who has had a string of illnesses not least of which cancer and who was full of grief since her daughter had cut her out of her life. The other was to my husband who I know is very worried about what the future has in store.  I also spent several hours in the company of an alcoholic who was at that point of desperation when he realised that he has lost all control over his drinking but has not yet found the hope that stems from regular spiritual practice.  I found the whole day incredibly uplifting, but had nevertheless spent much of it with people who were feeling very negative and pessimistic.

Before I went to sleep I listened to Wayne Dyer on YouTube and was intrigued to hear that he is often wakes between 3 and 4 am, as were most other of the people present who were watching him speak. He talked of the 13^th century poet Rumi’s words: ‘The morning breeze has secrets to tell you, don’t go back to sleep’ and it made complete sense to me that this time in the crossover between sleep and consciousness is when you are closest to God.

However, this morning, unlike other mornings when I am visited by colours and feelings of overwhelming love and peacefulness, this morning I found myself with a sense of fear so strong that I eventually had to get up and get out of the room.  I was not asleep when this happened.  I had not had a nightmare and I had lain awake trying to rationalise it for the best part of an hour before I finally decided to trust my instincts and move.

I went downstairs and meditated and did self-Reiki for over an hour, with the kitchen light on.  I also felt compelled to light a candle and to plunge my hands into the soil around one of the houseplants. 

Thank goodness for the Internet.  In years gone by I would have worried for my sanity, but a quick online search immediately reassured me that I was not experiencing my own fear, but with the benefit of hindsight I am certain I was picking up on the energy produced by my husband’s feelings.

I had to sleep in my daughter’s bed after that, and slept cuddled into her after having visualised us both protected by bright light.

I know a lot has been written about cutting negativity out of our lives, but that is not easy when the negativity comes from someone you care about and do not want to lose from your life (in my case, my husband and the father of my children). I know I can’t force the change, but I have to believe that in time love, compassion and daily evidence that this stuff is real will allow him to make the changes for himself.  From what I’ve read I do think there is a case for some additional help with crystals and smudging with white sage. There has been so much negativity in this house over the past ten years it will need some encouragement to make it move on.