Integration

Having woken up at least fifteen times in the night to go for a wee (thankfully shedding some of the excess baggage I seem to have put on around my middle recently, despite eating less and more healthily) I got up yesterday with a temperature and aching all over.  Unable to do much more than shift from bed, to the bath, to the sofa then back to bed, I took a brief glance at my horoscope which advised me:

‘It’s very necessary that you are listening to your heart dear Aries and also making sure that you are looking after your body.  This means you’ll need to have more space in your life to make sure you have time for you.  I can’t stress to you how important it’s going to be to have alone time.  There are some very profound messages coming your way at the moment and you don’t want to miss any of them’.

Well, I didn’t need any more encouragement to take it easy.  Instead, I used the time to make a big dent in Dr Eric Pearl’s book ‘The Reconnection’.  I was astonished at just how many similarities there were in our respective journeys, although my palms have never bled, his patients seem to stay awake through their healings and mine seem to fall asleep, and I frequently see clouds of colours whereas this doesn't seem to feature in his writing.

The other advice was to ‘focus your energy on you’. Just as well really, because when I tried to respond to requests for distant healing, I could hardly feel any energy in my hands.  Normally I just have to shift my attention to them and the energy is instantly there, noticeably strong.  I could hardly muster a tingle.

Whilst lying quietly I noticed shafts of white light and what I could only describe as ‘frequencies’, going both up and down the shaft of light, although principally upwards away from me.  A quick Google on my phone and I see that I am not alone, although it doesn’t seem to be widespread: http://spiritualnetworks - seeing soundwaves

I also listened to this channelling of Kyron by Lee Carroll Kyron chanelling Lee Carroll and a plaiedien channelling via Lia Shapiro (from Barbara Marciniak’s book Bringers of the Dawn way back in 1992 but just as relevant today) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9HtZFb_VtM which made perfect sense of much that I’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time.  I have always felt that someone or something was 'working on me' during my night visits, and a deep inner knowing that this is not the first time I've worked with these energies. I loved to read too how Kyron is linked with the Archangel Michael, to whom I also feel a strong allegiance. 

I also felt the need to learn more about energy portals in the earth - this is something I will explore further.

This morning the temperature has dissipated but I have excruciating pain in my lower back.  But at least now I believe that it is with good cause.  I find it hard to believe how much my thought processes have changed in the past 12 months and that I'm giving any credibility to information like this.  But give it credibility I most certainly do. 

Crystal

Yet again, another jaw-dropping session that has left me wondering in amazement why I have been allowed to have access to such a wonderful gift.  On the one hand, I’m starting to accept as ‘normal’ the colours that I keep seeing, on the other I wonder if I’ll ever really get used to the sights I keep witnessing.

This time the session was with a lady who had been coughing up blood and green bile and who was clearly terrified about what the future had in store for her.  Within less than two minutes of the session starting she apologised profusely, and said that she had an overwhelming urge to cry, then tears briefly shed, she settled into a deep slumber with a peaceful smile on her face.  This time the main colours that I saw working were crystal/white, with a touch of indigo. 

I started to see a pulse in her neck, which gradually seemed to become stronger and stronger. Her neck appeared to be getting a gentle and rhythmic massage, no matter where I moved my hands on her body.  I watched in astonishment as all along her neck to one side of her windpipe her throat seemed to be getting squeezed in an upward motion, almost as if someone were squeezing a tube of toothpaste. Then squeezed even more intensely.  I was mesmerised, and somewhat anxious, unable to comprehend how she was able to sleep through it without choking. In ordinary circumstances I have no doubt that she would have complained about being strangled.

But when the session ended, again she said that she hadn’t noticed being asleep, and hadn’t felt anything more than a sense of warmth and peace.

White, I read, is the perfect colour, for it is all colours in perfect balance and harmony, the colour of the awakened spirit, of cosmic consciousness and the Divine light and one of the fastest ways to bring about healing. I see that it is often linked with the crown chakra and is an excellent colour for rebalancing disturbances and depressions linked with hormonal imbalances and psychophysical problems.

Crystal came up again in an entirely different context this morning when I read this article crystal beings out loud to my eldest daughter.  We were both in agreement that the vast majority of the attributes in the article summed her up perfectly.  Interesting to read too, that whilst crystal children are born that way, many of their predecessors have vibrations and gifts that are activated as they mature.  

Passing On

This week my father-in-law lost his two-and-a half-year long battle with cancer.  His cancer was well advanced by the time I received my attunement enabling me to do distance Reiki, but since then (and in fact, a couple of weeks prior to) I have been sending Reiki to him on a regular basis.  In the past couple of weeks, as his life was reaching its conclusion, my two daughters (recently Reiki I trained, but not yet able to do distant Reiki) and my husband, who has received no Reiki training, joined me.  I had been woken up in the night by a ‘dream’ encouraging us to send healing as a family.

I see little point in wondering whether the outcome would have been different had we learned to work with Reiki earlier.  There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that the Reiki helped.  When I first started sending he frequently made mention on the phone that he could ‘feel’ the Reiki energy, tingling and pulsing sensations in and around his tumour, despite the fact that he was in a different country, and hadn’t really believed it could help.

Last week the family asked the specialists to try to give some sort of prognosis for life expectancy.  The Doctor replied that it was impossible to say.  They were in uncharted territory, he said, because ordinarily given what he had been through he ‘should have been gone months ago’.  I am not claiming that Reiki was the only factor. I have never met such a genuinely kind, caring and cheerful man, he had a laugh and a joke for everything, and no matter what the circumstances he met it with a smile. I'm sure his positive and optimistic outlook on life helped him enormously.  But I do believe that the Reiki made a significant contribution.

You might have read my earlier blog about the Venus transit.  On the day that she was making her crossing I remarked to my husband that I would not be surprised if my father-in-law either made a miraculous recovery, or chose the next few days to make his exit.  The energies felt so beautiful and so loving that I could understand why anyone struggling with life might choose that moment to move on and reconnect with something so paradisiacal.

When we got the phone call to let us know he had started to deteriorate my husband and two girls started the long drive back to the UK to visit him.  Just before 4.00 am I woke with gut wrenching fear and panic in my solar plexus.  I cannot explain how, but I knew it was my father-in-law, despite the fact that although we were on very good terms I was not ‘close’ to him in the same way that I would say I’m close to my mum, my husband or children.  Nevertheless, I could strongly sense his emotion and we had a surreal ‘conversation’, without using any words in which I said ‘You can’t go yet, they’re on their way to see you’.  I later found that just before 4.00 am the nurses had had to sedate him.

The following morning my husband arrived at the hospital and apparently his Dad looked so poorly that he almost didn’t let the girls in to see him.  At around 10.30 am I sat in the garden and sent Reiki and prayed that everyone would be able to say their goodbyes.  At around 10.30 am I’m told that he opened his eyes and perked up, so much so that the girls and their little cousins were able to go in to see their Grandad.  The cancer had reached his bowel, his liver, his lungs and most probably his brain, yet he needed virtually no pain relief.

Again, I can’t explain how, but I knew he had gone long before we got the phone call to say that he had passed on peacefully in his sleep that night.

When I phoned my mum to explain, she told me that the night my Nan had passed away, she too had been woken with a feeling of total panic, as if someone was sitting on and contracting her chest, at exactly the time of Nan’s death.  She said that a few days later she had a vision of her Mum which she found extremely disconcerting, clippy-clopping jauntily along in her shoes, looking much younger and joyful, as if to say ‘It’s okay, I’m alright, I’ve found peace’. 

Movers

I had yet another session at lunchtime with a neighbour who fell asleep immediately they lay on the massage table and then started moving about.  They had come to me with a case of cystitis, but it quickly became obvious that they also had something out of kilter with their hand as it kept twitching and moving backwards and forwards as if it was being physically manipulated.  I felt very little in the way of energy, but I saw a lot of colours during the session.  When I woke her up at the end she was completely unaware that her hand had moved, but when I asked her she said it often played her up when she had been gardening.  The pain from the cystitis had immediately completely disappeared.  I had mentioned this phenomenon to a Facebook friend who forwarded me a link to a video by her Reiki master, Ethel Kilroy, talking about what she called ‘Movers’: Ethel Kilroy interview 

Venus transit

I have just had the most surreal and wonderful experience.  All morning, the morning of the Venus transit which we can’t see here in France but which I can most certainly feel, my crown chakra and the rear of my heart chakra have been tingling with huge amounts of energy.  As the sun had just started to peek out from behind the clouds I went outside to do a distance healing session in the garden.  As I sent the request all the colours suddenly greyed out for a few minutes and became almost ‘smudged’ looking, like looking through a soft-focus lens. Then gradually I watched cloud upon cloud of energy (or spirit?) rolling like a morning mist through everything in my field of vision.  I’ve seen these colours regularly since I’ve started Reiki, and feel sure they are from the same source as the Northern lights, but I’ve never seen them in such huge quantities before; indigos, and blues and pinks and greens swirling through the sky and the gardens.  The greyed out colour of the things I was looking at then took on a hue that I find hard to describe; the grass was such a vivid green.  When I looked at the sky it was as if there were ‘ripples’ in it that I felt sure were massive amounts of incoming energy, a bit like the effect when you throw a pebble into a pond.  The sound of birdsong and bees buzzing were, for a few minutes, incredibly loud.  Consider me officially blown away.

Photos Daily Mail

Living in awe

In my last post I shared about how I’ve finally surrendered, let go and stepped into the flow.  Over the past few weeks there have been some particularly memorable sessions that have profoundly deepened my belief and knowing.  Each time I work with energy I am in wonder; these particular sessions or incidents completely blew me away and have left me in awe.  The three am ‘visits’ I had for months on end seem to be far less frequent but conversely I’m witnessing magic and miracles in my waking hours on a regular basis.

The first was a healing session I did with my husband.  He had fallen 7 metres off a roof several years earlier and spent six months in a wheelchair, exploding his heel very badly and has suffered with the obvious long-term effects.  A Reiki session would ease the pain for a day or two, but then the dull ache would start and in no time he’d be limping again.  I made a wonderful contact via Facebook who runs a wonderful page called Lightworkers for Change http://www.facebook.com/lightworkersforchange (check it out!) who had found I did equine Reiki. She had spent some time with an aboriginal bushman and had picked up some fantastic energy-healing techniques for horses, which she kindly took the time to share with me.  I incorporated them into my work with horses with success so thought I would try with my husband.  I started a normal Reiki session, but gradually let myself drift into a light trance state (very easy, as I was mesmerised by the incredible flow of colours) and intended that my husband’s foot be restored to its natural state, that he feel no pain but that whatever deep healing needed to take place be facilitated through me.  Immediately he fell into a deep slumber and I felt the energy coursing through my hands.  For around ¾ of an hour he didn’t stir but his whole foot and leg moved back and forth and I could see the joints and bones moving.  It was as if I was watching the bones that were out of kilter being moved back into alignment, it was quite astonishing. I had my hands in one place and I could see things shifting elsewhere in his body. When the session drew to an end he awoke.  Not only had the pain gone but I couldn’t believe it when he said he hadn’t noticed a thing although he felt very tired! I got the impression it was a similar sort of fatigue to that which you get when you come out of an operating theatre.

A similar incident happened only last week, although I was very ‘present’ and there was no hint of being in a trance state.  A client came to see me with excruciating shoulder pain.  The pain was so bad that morphine and anti-inflammatories didn’t touch it and she had literally been sick with the agony.  I had done a couple of quick sessions with her earlier in the week, but felt that she needed a full session.  Almost instantly she fell into a deep slumber and as soon as I placed my hands on her head my arms and hands turned a rose pink and the energy flowed strongly.  I have never witnessed such a physical session.  My hands were quiet and still on her head, I did not intend anything in particular, just got out of the way, yet her hands constantly opened and closed, her arms, shoulder, neck and legs twitched and moved for around ¾ of an hour.  Not just a little shudder like you get when someone has touched a nerve, it was real movement as if someone had hold of a limb and was tugging it to straighten the kinks out.  I was wondering what on earth she would say at the end of the session and yet when she awoke she hadn’t noticed a thing.  Interestingly, when I did some research on the rose pink (with some tinges of violet) that I had clearly seen throughout the session I read that it is linked with the heart chakra, compassion for humanity, and amongst the ailments listed were upper back problems, hands & circulation – the three of which had been troubling her for years.  Within less than an hour of returning to the house she left a message on my answer phone saying that the pain had completely disappeared.

We have a jumping pony who has had problems with his pelvis and stifle since he was young, and I had noticed he had started favouring one leg again.  I used the technique I had been told about and took hold of his withers in both hands (the solar plexus chakra).  Almost immediately he contorted his body and stretched it on his own in the same way that the osteopath had done when she had treated him several months earlier.  Believe me, this was not a position that a horse would put himself into naturally, nor without a lot of encouragement & reassurance.  Result? One sound pony.

Although I use self-Reiki on a regular basis the next mind-blowing moment occurred whilst I received a treatment from my Reiki master.  When I was on my Pranic healing course we had all taken it in turns to sit on one side of the room whilst the other students studied our etheric, emotional and physical auras.  When all but one of the group noticed a dark, dingy sludge in my emotional aura close to where I had had my breast cancer tumour and lymph nodes removed I was very quick to book myself in for a session to ‘hoover it up’. The consultation started with a question and answer session.  Laura was very keen to establish what incidents I had experienced immediately prior to the cancer in my left breast that she felt was strongly linked to being a mother or caring for someone.  Had something happened to one of the children? Had I been worried about one of them? Something that I hadn’t been able to talk or share about, a responsibility that fell on me? Nothing jumped out at me.  As soon as the session started I found myself staring at the ceiling because there was just the most spectacular display of colours.  It was as if I had my very own version of the Northern Lights. I can’t describe how beautiful it was.  All of a sudden I was gripped with a fear in the pit of my stomach and I instantly had a deep, innate knowing that my cancer had been set in motion when my husband fell off the roof.  I can’t tell you how, but I just knew. It was exactly the panic I’d felt when I received the phone call saying the ambulance was on it’s way, the fear of how we would cope if he died or was unable to walk again. And then, just like that, it evaporated.  Laura told me after the session that the murky sludge just disappeared.  It made perfect sense.  It wasn’t my children I’d been mothering, but my husband who had been unable to do so much as cut his food up on his own for several months; I’d been a mother to him for a time.  And of course, I was still working full time, running the house, looking after the kids.  I was physically and emotionally drained but was unable to grumble about it as he was the one in need of support.  I noticed the tumour and my cancer was diagnosed just a couple of months later. I had never linked the two incidents, just thought we’d had a run of bad luck.

The day before yesterday I did a session with a young man in his twenties who had suddenly become paralysed down one side of his face and had gone deaf in one ear and lost all sense of taste.  He had been to see the doctor who was unable to find the cause. Throughout the session I felt the energy very strongly.  Conversely he felt nothing at all. Not a thing. His girlfriend, who was sat with him throughout, asked to see what it felt like, and she immediately felt the heat generated by the energy, even though my hands were cool.  He didn’t feel a single sensation, and looked at me quite disbelievingly at the end.  During this session I saw lots of indigo pouring through my hands, which I knew probably linked to the third eye chakra.  I felt a stabbing pain deep inside my ear and in my shoulder.  I would never dream of attempting or sharing a diagnosis but to settle my own curiosity I later checked out the physical dysfunctions linked to this chakra.  They were listed as ‘brain tumours, strokes, blindness, deafness, seizures, learning disabilities, spinal dysfunctions and depression’.  I have since learned that his grand mother died at a young age following a stroke.

Feeling a small amount of pain in a particular place has become a pretty regular occurrence for me – it’s almost as if it’s a way of guiding me to put my hands in a certain place from which the troubles stem.

I’ve also been regularly and inadvertently picking up on other peoples thoughts and feelings.  I went to a charity barbeque at the weekend which was attended,  amongst other people, by a group of men from a shelter for the homeless. I didn’t have a drink because I was driving.  This would not ordinarily present me with any problem, but all evening I felt on edge and kept glancing at other people’s glasses.  It felt incredibly uncomfortable and was very disconcerting.  It really took the edge off my evening.  In the early hours of the morning I awoke and suddenly ‘knew’ that they weren’t my feelings, I’d somehow picked them up from someone at the barbeque.  I even had a good idea as to who it had been, although there had been nothing overtly obvious to make me think that.  The next day I went back to meet the group and I mentioned it in passing.  Immediately one of the guys said ‘That was me. That is exactly how I was feeling all night’. He had only been in the shelter for a week or so, and he was in his first few days sober.  Later, the event organiser asked us to spend a few moments quietly in a group meditation.  With my eyes closed, I immediately saw the darkness fill with a beautiful green, the colour of healing and of the heart chakra.  There are no words to describe the atmosphere. I just know we all tangibly felt a deep sense of love, caring, compassion and connection, and that there was something incredibly special present bonding together a collection of individuals.

Awe, I live in awe and wonder. I am so grateful that this work has found me.

In the flow

I haven’t posted this on this blog recently, almost certainly because I’ve been in a period of transition.  Having made the decision that I want to grab everything that this new way of seeing and living life has offered me, I have still had mountains of ‘old stuff’ that can’t be let go of until the new is properly bedded in.  As much as I’d like to ditch the day job immediately, start a new career in energy healing and write a book, I still have a family to feed.  In fact, when I checked this out with my guides (can you believe that I’ve even written that – this time last year I’d’ve got myself committed for even thinking such a thing) it was very clear that I had to continue doing what I was doing for the time being.

The gradual process of stepping away from what doesn’t make my heart sing has started, and I’m spending more time doing what I love.  I’m riding more, I’m blessed to be able to spend more time in the garden (the bad back that has dogged me for years is but a distant memory these days).  I’m still selling equestrian properties but now I’m being more fussy about what I put on my books, turning down anything that I don’t love or that has tricky owners as part of the package. I’m still taking translation work but have scaled it right down and am turning away everything except projects that  ‘grab me’.  As a result I’ve just started translating a magazine for the European pony Championships that is fascinating for a life-long sport pony lover and doesn’t feel like work at all.

In the meantime, my new ‘business’ is gradually starting to grow through word of mouth.  Each time I take my daughters to a show jumping competition there seem to be a steady stream of people asking me to take a look at a lame horse or help a horse that has colic or is not eating. I seem to have established a none-too-glamourous clinic in our lorry for a queue of battered riders with various ailments (we are a crocked-up lot). When I go to visit a property I often end up staying behind to treat a sick or injured horse that I’ve come across.  I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve driven home doing distant Reiki for a motley collection of horses, other animals and people, only to be phoned a few days later by the originally sceptical owner asking if I’d pop back and do a session for them or another family member.  Energy healing rapidly sorted the long-term back pain of my next-door neighbour who subsequently sent her husband with an eye problem and her hairdresser who was in agony and on morphine with a shoulder injury.  They were all amazed by the results and have in turn referred other clients to me.  It will take a while, but I have no doubt that if it is part of the universe’s plan for me then it will happen.

I have spent every spare waking hour reading, watching videos, listening to seminars or on forums, making new connections, learning wherever I can, seeing what I can pick up, not only from Reiki but from other healing modalities and ‘natural’ healers.  I did an initial Pranic healing course to try to make sense of the colours that I see so regularly during my sessions and in my quiet time.  I don’t think we need to understand in order to help heal; in fact, it seems to be key to be able to step out of the way.  Nevertheless, a basic knowledge of the chakras and their related colours provides some satisfaction for my (moderately) logical human brain, which is constantly seeking to understand.  I’ve started to be able to see auras (although heaven forbid someone isn’t sat still against a light background), and to see the energy in the air once it was pointed out to me.  How on earth have I missed it for the past forty-five years? When I tried to explain to my 11-year-old daughter how to see it, she looked at me like I was insane and replied ‘Oh that? Doesn’t everyone see that? I’m looking at the world with new eyes. I notice the aura of trees and plants; fields of corn, swathes of grass and the sky seem to take on new colours.  I see fleeting clouds of light and colour streaming in through the window, or bouncing off a wall.  Even birdsong and bees seem to buzz louder.

I've also learned how to use a pendulum. What fun! I've been like a child, seeking answers to no end of questions, my guides must give a huge sigh of relief when I shut my eyes at the end of the day.  I know I already have all the answers I need and don't need to rely on outside tools, but boy does it help speed things up sometimes. 

Things are fundamentally shifting in my life.  Before, I was very reserved about mentioning energy work and my newfound spirituality. Now, everyone who knows me knows this is what I ‘do’, or at least, what I facilitate. I feel incredibly driven to write a book.  I’ve always known I have a book in me; I had no idea that it would be this one! I thought I would have to write at 4am so as to avoid any upheaval in the family, instead my husband has offered to take on my work in real estate to enable me to settle down and write.  This would have been inconceivable only a few months ago. I’d read it a thousand times, but it’s true what they say.  Now I’ve jumped into the flow things seems to be falling into place with little or no effort.