An act of kindness

Yesterday I was in a queue at the checkout in the supermarket.  I had shopped particularly carefully, conscious that money has pretty much run out until I am paid in a couple of week’s time.  In front of me was a tired and harassed-looking woman with three quite odd-looking, greasy-haired children, one with a hare lip and misshapen face. I watched as the cashier asked her to fill out a form and saw her obvious discomfort as she was asked which Mairie (French town hall) was paying for her shop. There is obviously some system in France of which I was previously unaware, probably designed with the best of intentions, to enable people in a really desperate situation to buy food in an emergency. I was shocked that the poor woman had to humiliate herself in front of the long queue that was building up behind me in order to feed her family, and could see the children visibly cringing as their mum tried to cover up her shame with bluster and bravado.

As I followed them out I could see her dividing up the contents of the trolley between her children in preparation for a long walk home.  One of the children started to complain and ask why their mum couldn’t afford to fix the car like ‘real’ parents could.  I saw her shoulders sag even further. The sky was black and it was obvious that they would be in for a real drenching on the way home.  ‘Go on’ said that little voice in my head.  ‘I’d love to but I can’t, what would she think, I might embarrass her even more’ I replied to myself.  ‘Go ON’ I thought again.  So I did.  I walked up to her and said ‘I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing that your car has broken down. It’s going to pour with rain and your shopping will get ruined.  I’m sure you can’t be going that far out of my way.  Can I give you a lift?’

She looked at me in total disbelief.  ‘I’ve blown it’ I thought. ‘She’s going to think I’m an interfering busybody’. And then she accepted, saying incredulously, ‘That is the first kindness anybody has shown to me in years’.  Inwardly my heart leaped and I gave thanks for the fact that I’d experienced extreme hardship in the past and so had been able to pick up the signs, to see through her bravado.  On the way home she explained to me that she had seven children and that her husband, who had worked to support them all his life, had been handicapped.  Their ancient car had broken down and she couldn’t afford to get it fixed. As she got out of the car I gave her half the money that I had in my purse (it wasn’t much!!!).  I will be getting paid eventually (I hope!) and I still have some food in the freezer and tins in the cupboard.  She didn’t know where the next meal was going to be coming from.  As I did so, her eyes filled with tears of joy and relief and she hugged me hard, saying that she couldn’t believe a total stranger would do that for them, when her own family had turned their backs. This was not a sponger, this was a woman who was desperately, desperately terrified about the future for her family.

I’m writing about this, not because I want you to know how magnanimous and worthy I am, but because I want you to know that that one small act brought me unimaginable joy.  That one tiny act of giving lifted me, made my heart sing and I felt an indescribable lightness of spirit.  It wasn’t much, but I really had made a huge difference to someone. I thank God that I discovered Reiki and have finally started out on my spiritual journey, because I know that twelve months ago if I had been stood in that same supermarket queue I would have judged her and done nothing.