Coming out

I stumbled upon an article on the Internet, targeted at gay and lesbian Christians, the other day called ‘Coming out’.  It provided food for thought, coming as I do from a family who are neither religious nor spiritual, because explaining the profound changes I have been experiencing over recent months has been quite a delicate matter. 

There have been so many changes in my day-to-day behaviour. I have pretty much given up alcohol, feeling that I have all that I need from my new spiritual lifestyle – I feel so much more vibrant and alive without it. But try to explain that to an incredulous family for whom drinking is at the heart of every social get-together, especially when it wasn’t usual for me to sink several bottles of wine each week.  This renowned carnivore now prefers to eat veggie dishes where possible (although I haven’t given up meat altogether) and has suddenly started buying organic milk and the like.

I make time to meditate every day, and have endured many an odd look when I take myself off somewhere quiet to do my self-Reiki, or walk away from a confrontation I’d previously have relished getting my teeth into. My reading over the past few months has consisted largely of spiritual or holistic books, and I’m intrigued by this new meta-physical world I’m starting to discover.  The fact that my name does not feature anywhere in this blog sits somewhat uncomfortably for me, although I suspect this may change in the very near future.  On the one hand I am keen to pass on the message and tell everyone about this wonderful, magical new life I have found. But I’m also very conscious that, particularly in the UK and this part of Europe, it is a bit too ‘woo-woo’ for many of the people who surround me, and to be openly linked to this spiritual world might even have an adverse effect on my existing business.

My husband and children have gradually become accustomed to my new lifestyle; my two girls are as intrigued as I am and are really keen to learn more themselves.  My husband has witnessed too many coincidences on a daily basis and is now one of my greatest advocates.  Each time a friend or neighbour grumbles about an ache or pain he is the first person to suggest they give Reiki a try.  We have just come back from a weekend back in the UK with my mum, and it’s all been a bit too much for her.  I try to explain that I feel like I am constantly plugged into a source of energy, and that I sense the energy of other people and she looks at me a little oddly.  Then I tell her that I see colours and have thoughts that I know are not my own and she looks alarmed and wonders if I might have the beginnings of a brain tumour.   Suggest that we all have the capacity to heal ourselves as part of our birthright, and that I feel we are all connected and I’m accused of being downright delusional.  We popped in for a coffee at my aunt’s shop and she immediately introduced me to one of the girls working there (an introduction for which I’m extremely grateful) saying ‘You’ll get on really well. She’s into all that weird stuff like you’.  But gradually, gradually they are all coming round as they see the changes with their own eyes, hear of or experience first hand the effectiveness of the treatments.

I am seeing the colours more clearly with every day that goes by.  I gave a Reiki treatment to a neighbour for her bad back and although she didn’t feel anything happening I saw very vividly a liquid gold colour flowing down my arms and into my hands throughout the treatment.  This morning I looked at my step-dad’s hat collection, which is displayed on his bedroom wall, and I could see a light blue circle around two of the hats – the two which he wears the most regularly.  Almost as if they’ve retained some of his energy, or have an energy all of their own.