Integration

Having woken up at least fifteen times in the night to go for a wee (thankfully shedding some of the excess baggage I seem to have put on around my middle recently, despite eating less and more healthily) I got up yesterday with a temperature and aching all over.  Unable to do much more than shift from bed, to the bath, to the sofa then back to bed, I took a brief glance at my horoscope which advised me:

‘It’s very necessary that you are listening to your heart dear Aries and also making sure that you are looking after your body.  This means you’ll need to have more space in your life to make sure you have time for you.  I can’t stress to you how important it’s going to be to have alone time.  There are some very profound messages coming your way at the moment and you don’t want to miss any of them’.

Well, I didn’t need any more encouragement to take it easy.  Instead, I used the time to make a big dent in Dr Eric Pearl’s book ‘The Reconnection’.  I was astonished at just how many similarities there were in our respective journeys, although my palms have never bled, his patients seem to stay awake through their healings and mine seem to fall asleep, and I frequently see clouds of colours whereas this doesn't seem to feature in his writing.

The other advice was to ‘focus your energy on you’. Just as well really, because when I tried to respond to requests for distant healing, I could hardly feel any energy in my hands.  Normally I just have to shift my attention to them and the energy is instantly there, noticeably strong.  I could hardly muster a tingle.

Whilst lying quietly I noticed shafts of white light and what I could only describe as ‘frequencies’, going both up and down the shaft of light, although principally upwards away from me.  A quick Google on my phone and I see that I am not alone, although it doesn’t seem to be widespread: http://spiritualnetworks - seeing soundwaves

I also listened to this channelling of Kyron by Lee Carroll Kyron chanelling Lee Carroll and a plaiedien channelling via Lia Shapiro (from Barbara Marciniak’s book Bringers of the Dawn way back in 1992 but just as relevant today) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9HtZFb_VtM which made perfect sense of much that I’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time.  I have always felt that someone or something was 'working on me' during my night visits, and a deep inner knowing that this is not the first time I've worked with these energies. I loved to read too how Kyron is linked with the Archangel Michael, to whom I also feel a strong allegiance. 

I also felt the need to learn more about energy portals in the earth - this is something I will explore further.

This morning the temperature has dissipated but I have excruciating pain in my lower back.  But at least now I believe that it is with good cause.  I find it hard to believe how much my thought processes have changed in the past 12 months and that I'm giving any credibility to information like this.  But give it credibility I most certainly do. 

Crystal

Yet again, another jaw-dropping session that has left me wondering in amazement why I have been allowed to have access to such a wonderful gift.  On the one hand, I’m starting to accept as ‘normal’ the colours that I keep seeing, on the other I wonder if I’ll ever really get used to the sights I keep witnessing.

This time the session was with a lady who had been coughing up blood and green bile and who was clearly terrified about what the future had in store for her.  Within less than two minutes of the session starting she apologised profusely, and said that she had an overwhelming urge to cry, then tears briefly shed, she settled into a deep slumber with a peaceful smile on her face.  This time the main colours that I saw working were crystal/white, with a touch of indigo. 

I started to see a pulse in her neck, which gradually seemed to become stronger and stronger. Her neck appeared to be getting a gentle and rhythmic massage, no matter where I moved my hands on her body.  I watched in astonishment as all along her neck to one side of her windpipe her throat seemed to be getting squeezed in an upward motion, almost as if someone were squeezing a tube of toothpaste. Then squeezed even more intensely.  I was mesmerised, and somewhat anxious, unable to comprehend how she was able to sleep through it without choking. In ordinary circumstances I have no doubt that she would have complained about being strangled.

But when the session ended, again she said that she hadn’t noticed being asleep, and hadn’t felt anything more than a sense of warmth and peace.

White, I read, is the perfect colour, for it is all colours in perfect balance and harmony, the colour of the awakened spirit, of cosmic consciousness and the Divine light and one of the fastest ways to bring about healing. I see that it is often linked with the crown chakra and is an excellent colour for rebalancing disturbances and depressions linked with hormonal imbalances and psychophysical problems.

Crystal came up again in an entirely different context this morning when I read this article crystal beings out loud to my eldest daughter.  We were both in agreement that the vast majority of the attributes in the article summed her up perfectly.  Interesting to read too, that whilst crystal children are born that way, many of their predecessors have vibrations and gifts that are activated as they mature.  

Passing On

This week my father-in-law lost his two-and-a half-year long battle with cancer.  His cancer was well advanced by the time I received my attunement enabling me to do distance Reiki, but since then (and in fact, a couple of weeks prior to) I have been sending Reiki to him on a regular basis.  In the past couple of weeks, as his life was reaching its conclusion, my two daughters (recently Reiki I trained, but not yet able to do distant Reiki) and my husband, who has received no Reiki training, joined me.  I had been woken up in the night by a ‘dream’ encouraging us to send healing as a family.

I see little point in wondering whether the outcome would have been different had we learned to work with Reiki earlier.  There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that the Reiki helped.  When I first started sending he frequently made mention on the phone that he could ‘feel’ the Reiki energy, tingling and pulsing sensations in and around his tumour, despite the fact that he was in a different country, and hadn’t really believed it could help.

Last week the family asked the specialists to try to give some sort of prognosis for life expectancy.  The Doctor replied that it was impossible to say.  They were in uncharted territory, he said, because ordinarily given what he had been through he ‘should have been gone months ago’.  I am not claiming that Reiki was the only factor. I have never met such a genuinely kind, caring and cheerful man, he had a laugh and a joke for everything, and no matter what the circumstances he met it with a smile. I'm sure his positive and optimistic outlook on life helped him enormously.  But I do believe that the Reiki made a significant contribution.

You might have read my earlier blog about the Venus transit.  On the day that she was making her crossing I remarked to my husband that I would not be surprised if my father-in-law either made a miraculous recovery, or chose the next few days to make his exit.  The energies felt so beautiful and so loving that I could understand why anyone struggling with life might choose that moment to move on and reconnect with something so paradisiacal.

When we got the phone call to let us know he had started to deteriorate my husband and two girls started the long drive back to the UK to visit him.  Just before 4.00 am I woke with gut wrenching fear and panic in my solar plexus.  I cannot explain how, but I knew it was my father-in-law, despite the fact that although we were on very good terms I was not ‘close’ to him in the same way that I would say I’m close to my mum, my husband or children.  Nevertheless, I could strongly sense his emotion and we had a surreal ‘conversation’, without using any words in which I said ‘You can’t go yet, they’re on their way to see you’.  I later found that just before 4.00 am the nurses had had to sedate him.

The following morning my husband arrived at the hospital and apparently his Dad looked so poorly that he almost didn’t let the girls in to see him.  At around 10.30 am I sat in the garden and sent Reiki and prayed that everyone would be able to say their goodbyes.  At around 10.30 am I’m told that he opened his eyes and perked up, so much so that the girls and their little cousins were able to go in to see their Grandad.  The cancer had reached his bowel, his liver, his lungs and most probably his brain, yet he needed virtually no pain relief.

Again, I can’t explain how, but I knew he had gone long before we got the phone call to say that he had passed on peacefully in his sleep that night.

When I phoned my mum to explain, she told me that the night my Nan had passed away, she too had been woken with a feeling of total panic, as if someone was sitting on and contracting her chest, at exactly the time of Nan’s death.  She said that a few days later she had a vision of her Mum which she found extremely disconcerting, clippy-clopping jauntily along in her shoes, looking much younger and joyful, as if to say ‘It’s okay, I’m alright, I’ve found peace’. 

Movers

I had yet another session at lunchtime with a neighbour who fell asleep immediately they lay on the massage table and then started moving about.  They had come to me with a case of cystitis, but it quickly became obvious that they also had something out of kilter with their hand as it kept twitching and moving backwards and forwards as if it was being physically manipulated.  I felt very little in the way of energy, but I saw a lot of colours during the session.  When I woke her up at the end she was completely unaware that her hand had moved, but when I asked her she said it often played her up when she had been gardening.  The pain from the cystitis had immediately completely disappeared.  I had mentioned this phenomenon to a Facebook friend who forwarded me a link to a video by her Reiki master, Ethel Kilroy, talking about what she called ‘Movers’: Ethel Kilroy interview 

Living in awe

In my last post I shared about how I’ve finally surrendered, let go and stepped into the flow.  Over the past few weeks there have been some particularly memorable sessions that have profoundly deepened my belief and knowing.  Each time I work with energy I am in wonder; these particular sessions or incidents completely blew me away and have left me in awe.  The three am ‘visits’ I had for months on end seem to be far less frequent but conversely I’m witnessing magic and miracles in my waking hours on a regular basis.

The first was a healing session I did with my husband.  He had fallen 7 metres off a roof several years earlier and spent six months in a wheelchair, exploding his heel very badly and has suffered with the obvious long-term effects.  A Reiki session would ease the pain for a day or two, but then the dull ache would start and in no time he’d be limping again.  I made a wonderful contact via Facebook who runs a wonderful page called Lightworkers for Change http://www.facebook.com/lightworkersforchange (check it out!) who had found I did equine Reiki. She had spent some time with an aboriginal bushman and had picked up some fantastic energy-healing techniques for horses, which she kindly took the time to share with me.  I incorporated them into my work with horses with success so thought I would try with my husband.  I started a normal Reiki session, but gradually let myself drift into a light trance state (very easy, as I was mesmerised by the incredible flow of colours) and intended that my husband’s foot be restored to its natural state, that he feel no pain but that whatever deep healing needed to take place be facilitated through me.  Immediately he fell into a deep slumber and I felt the energy coursing through my hands.  For around ¾ of an hour he didn’t stir but his whole foot and leg moved back and forth and I could see the joints and bones moving.  It was as if I was watching the bones that were out of kilter being moved back into alignment, it was quite astonishing. I had my hands in one place and I could see things shifting elsewhere in his body. When the session drew to an end he awoke.  Not only had the pain gone but I couldn’t believe it when he said he hadn’t noticed a thing although he felt very tired! I got the impression it was a similar sort of fatigue to that which you get when you come out of an operating theatre.

A similar incident happened only last week, although I was very ‘present’ and there was no hint of being in a trance state.  A client came to see me with excruciating shoulder pain.  The pain was so bad that morphine and anti-inflammatories didn’t touch it and she had literally been sick with the agony.  I had done a couple of quick sessions with her earlier in the week, but felt that she needed a full session.  Almost instantly she fell into a deep slumber and as soon as I placed my hands on her head my arms and hands turned a rose pink and the energy flowed strongly.  I have never witnessed such a physical session.  My hands were quiet and still on her head, I did not intend anything in particular, just got out of the way, yet her hands constantly opened and closed, her arms, shoulder, neck and legs twitched and moved for around ¾ of an hour.  Not just a little shudder like you get when someone has touched a nerve, it was real movement as if someone had hold of a limb and was tugging it to straighten the kinks out.  I was wondering what on earth she would say at the end of the session and yet when she awoke she hadn’t noticed a thing.  Interestingly, when I did some research on the rose pink (with some tinges of violet) that I had clearly seen throughout the session I read that it is linked with the heart chakra, compassion for humanity, and amongst the ailments listed were upper back problems, hands & circulation – the three of which had been troubling her for years.  Within less than an hour of returning to the house she left a message on my answer phone saying that the pain had completely disappeared.

We have a jumping pony who has had problems with his pelvis and stifle since he was young, and I had noticed he had started favouring one leg again.  I used the technique I had been told about and took hold of his withers in both hands (the solar plexus chakra).  Almost immediately he contorted his body and stretched it on his own in the same way that the osteopath had done when she had treated him several months earlier.  Believe me, this was not a position that a horse would put himself into naturally, nor without a lot of encouragement & reassurance.  Result? One sound pony.

Although I use self-Reiki on a regular basis the next mind-blowing moment occurred whilst I received a treatment from my Reiki master.  When I was on my Pranic healing course we had all taken it in turns to sit on one side of the room whilst the other students studied our etheric, emotional and physical auras.  When all but one of the group noticed a dark, dingy sludge in my emotional aura close to where I had had my breast cancer tumour and lymph nodes removed I was very quick to book myself in for a session to ‘hoover it up’. The consultation started with a question and answer session.  Laura was very keen to establish what incidents I had experienced immediately prior to the cancer in my left breast that she felt was strongly linked to being a mother or caring for someone.  Had something happened to one of the children? Had I been worried about one of them? Something that I hadn’t been able to talk or share about, a responsibility that fell on me? Nothing jumped out at me.  As soon as the session started I found myself staring at the ceiling because there was just the most spectacular display of colours.  It was as if I had my very own version of the Northern Lights. I can’t describe how beautiful it was.  All of a sudden I was gripped with a fear in the pit of my stomach and I instantly had a deep, innate knowing that my cancer had been set in motion when my husband fell off the roof.  I can’t tell you how, but I just knew. It was exactly the panic I’d felt when I received the phone call saying the ambulance was on it’s way, the fear of how we would cope if he died or was unable to walk again. And then, just like that, it evaporated.  Laura told me after the session that the murky sludge just disappeared.  It made perfect sense.  It wasn’t my children I’d been mothering, but my husband who had been unable to do so much as cut his food up on his own for several months; I’d been a mother to him for a time.  And of course, I was still working full time, running the house, looking after the kids.  I was physically and emotionally drained but was unable to grumble about it as he was the one in need of support.  I noticed the tumour and my cancer was diagnosed just a couple of months later. I had never linked the two incidents, just thought we’d had a run of bad luck.

The day before yesterday I did a session with a young man in his twenties who had suddenly become paralysed down one side of his face and had gone deaf in one ear and lost all sense of taste.  He had been to see the doctor who was unable to find the cause. Throughout the session I felt the energy very strongly.  Conversely he felt nothing at all. Not a thing. His girlfriend, who was sat with him throughout, asked to see what it felt like, and she immediately felt the heat generated by the energy, even though my hands were cool.  He didn’t feel a single sensation, and looked at me quite disbelievingly at the end.  During this session I saw lots of indigo pouring through my hands, which I knew probably linked to the third eye chakra.  I felt a stabbing pain deep inside my ear and in my shoulder.  I would never dream of attempting or sharing a diagnosis but to settle my own curiosity I later checked out the physical dysfunctions linked to this chakra.  They were listed as ‘brain tumours, strokes, blindness, deafness, seizures, learning disabilities, spinal dysfunctions and depression’.  I have since learned that his grand mother died at a young age following a stroke.

Feeling a small amount of pain in a particular place has become a pretty regular occurrence for me – it’s almost as if it’s a way of guiding me to put my hands in a certain place from which the troubles stem.

I’ve also been regularly and inadvertently picking up on other peoples thoughts and feelings.  I went to a charity barbeque at the weekend which was attended,  amongst other people, by a group of men from a shelter for the homeless. I didn’t have a drink because I was driving.  This would not ordinarily present me with any problem, but all evening I felt on edge and kept glancing at other people’s glasses.  It felt incredibly uncomfortable and was very disconcerting.  It really took the edge off my evening.  In the early hours of the morning I awoke and suddenly ‘knew’ that they weren’t my feelings, I’d somehow picked them up from someone at the barbeque.  I even had a good idea as to who it had been, although there had been nothing overtly obvious to make me think that.  The next day I went back to meet the group and I mentioned it in passing.  Immediately one of the guys said ‘That was me. That is exactly how I was feeling all night’. He had only been in the shelter for a week or so, and he was in his first few days sober.  Later, the event organiser asked us to spend a few moments quietly in a group meditation.  With my eyes closed, I immediately saw the darkness fill with a beautiful green, the colour of healing and of the heart chakra.  There are no words to describe the atmosphere. I just know we all tangibly felt a deep sense of love, caring, compassion and connection, and that there was something incredibly special present bonding together a collection of individuals.

Awe, I live in awe and wonder. I am so grateful that this work has found me.

In the flow

I haven’t posted this on this blog recently, almost certainly because I’ve been in a period of transition.  Having made the decision that I want to grab everything that this new way of seeing and living life has offered me, I have still had mountains of ‘old stuff’ that can’t be let go of until the new is properly bedded in.  As much as I’d like to ditch the day job immediately, start a new career in energy healing and write a book, I still have a family to feed.  In fact, when I checked this out with my guides (can you believe that I’ve even written that – this time last year I’d’ve got myself committed for even thinking such a thing) it was very clear that I had to continue doing what I was doing for the time being.

The gradual process of stepping away from what doesn’t make my heart sing has started, and I’m spending more time doing what I love.  I’m riding more, I’m blessed to be able to spend more time in the garden (the bad back that has dogged me for years is but a distant memory these days).  I’m still selling equestrian properties but now I’m being more fussy about what I put on my books, turning down anything that I don’t love or that has tricky owners as part of the package. I’m still taking translation work but have scaled it right down and am turning away everything except projects that  ‘grab me’.  As a result I’ve just started translating a magazine for the European pony Championships that is fascinating for a life-long sport pony lover and doesn’t feel like work at all.

In the meantime, my new ‘business’ is gradually starting to grow through word of mouth.  Each time I take my daughters to a show jumping competition there seem to be a steady stream of people asking me to take a look at a lame horse or help a horse that has colic or is not eating. I seem to have established a none-too-glamourous clinic in our lorry for a queue of battered riders with various ailments (we are a crocked-up lot). When I go to visit a property I often end up staying behind to treat a sick or injured horse that I’ve come across.  I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve driven home doing distant Reiki for a motley collection of horses, other animals and people, only to be phoned a few days later by the originally sceptical owner asking if I’d pop back and do a session for them or another family member.  Energy healing rapidly sorted the long-term back pain of my next-door neighbour who subsequently sent her husband with an eye problem and her hairdresser who was in agony and on morphine with a shoulder injury.  They were all amazed by the results and have in turn referred other clients to me.  It will take a while, but I have no doubt that if it is part of the universe’s plan for me then it will happen.

I have spent every spare waking hour reading, watching videos, listening to seminars or on forums, making new connections, learning wherever I can, seeing what I can pick up, not only from Reiki but from other healing modalities and ‘natural’ healers.  I did an initial Pranic healing course to try to make sense of the colours that I see so regularly during my sessions and in my quiet time.  I don’t think we need to understand in order to help heal; in fact, it seems to be key to be able to step out of the way.  Nevertheless, a basic knowledge of the chakras and their related colours provides some satisfaction for my (moderately) logical human brain, which is constantly seeking to understand.  I’ve started to be able to see auras (although heaven forbid someone isn’t sat still against a light background), and to see the energy in the air once it was pointed out to me.  How on earth have I missed it for the past forty-five years? When I tried to explain to my 11-year-old daughter how to see it, she looked at me like I was insane and replied ‘Oh that? Doesn’t everyone see that? I’m looking at the world with new eyes. I notice the aura of trees and plants; fields of corn, swathes of grass and the sky seem to take on new colours.  I see fleeting clouds of light and colour streaming in through the window, or bouncing off a wall.  Even birdsong and bees seem to buzz louder.

I've also learned how to use a pendulum. What fun! I've been like a child, seeking answers to no end of questions, my guides must give a huge sigh of relief when I shut my eyes at the end of the day.  I know I already have all the answers I need and don't need to rely on outside tools, but boy does it help speed things up sometimes. 

Things are fundamentally shifting in my life.  Before, I was very reserved about mentioning energy work and my newfound spirituality. Now, everyone who knows me knows this is what I ‘do’, or at least, what I facilitate. I feel incredibly driven to write a book.  I’ve always known I have a book in me; I had no idea that it would be this one! I thought I would have to write at 4am so as to avoid any upheaval in the family, instead my husband has offered to take on my work in real estate to enable me to settle down and write.  This would have been inconceivable only a few months ago. I’d read it a thousand times, but it’s true what they say.  Now I’ve jumped into the flow things seems to be falling into place with little or no effort. 

An act of kindness

Yesterday I was in a queue at the checkout in the supermarket.  I had shopped particularly carefully, conscious that money has pretty much run out until I am paid in a couple of week’s time.  In front of me was a tired and harassed-looking woman with three quite odd-looking, greasy-haired children, one with a hare lip and misshapen face. I watched as the cashier asked her to fill out a form and saw her obvious discomfort as she was asked which Mairie (French town hall) was paying for her shop. There is obviously some system in France of which I was previously unaware, probably designed with the best of intentions, to enable people in a really desperate situation to buy food in an emergency. I was shocked that the poor woman had to humiliate herself in front of the long queue that was building up behind me in order to feed her family, and could see the children visibly cringing as their mum tried to cover up her shame with bluster and bravado.

As I followed them out I could see her dividing up the contents of the trolley between her children in preparation for a long walk home.  One of the children started to complain and ask why their mum couldn’t afford to fix the car like ‘real’ parents could.  I saw her shoulders sag even further. The sky was black and it was obvious that they would be in for a real drenching on the way home.  ‘Go on’ said that little voice in my head.  ‘I’d love to but I can’t, what would she think, I might embarrass her even more’ I replied to myself.  ‘Go ON’ I thought again.  So I did.  I walked up to her and said ‘I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing that your car has broken down. It’s going to pour with rain and your shopping will get ruined.  I’m sure you can’t be going that far out of my way.  Can I give you a lift?’

She looked at me in total disbelief.  ‘I’ve blown it’ I thought. ‘She’s going to think I’m an interfering busybody’. And then she accepted, saying incredulously, ‘That is the first kindness anybody has shown to me in years’.  Inwardly my heart leaped and I gave thanks for the fact that I’d experienced extreme hardship in the past and so had been able to pick up the signs, to see through her bravado.  On the way home she explained to me that she had seven children and that her husband, who had worked to support them all his life, had been handicapped.  Their ancient car had broken down and she couldn’t afford to get it fixed. As she got out of the car I gave her half the money that I had in my purse (it wasn’t much!!!).  I will be getting paid eventually (I hope!) and I still have some food in the freezer and tins in the cupboard.  She didn’t know where the next meal was going to be coming from.  As I did so, her eyes filled with tears of joy and relief and she hugged me hard, saying that she couldn’t believe a total stranger would do that for them, when her own family had turned their backs. This was not a sponger, this was a woman who was desperately, desperately terrified about the future for her family.

I’m writing about this, not because I want you to know how magnanimous and worthy I am, but because I want you to know that that one small act brought me unimaginable joy.  That one tiny act of giving lifted me, made my heart sing and I felt an indescribable lightness of spirit.  It wasn’t much, but I really had made a huge difference to someone. I thank God that I discovered Reiki and have finally started out on my spiritual journey, because I know that twelve months ago if I had been stood in that same supermarket queue I would have judged her and done nothing.

Anticipation

All around me in my ‘ordinary’ world all seems to be crumbling; the entire financial system is perilously close to total collapse LINK, Fukushima is continuing to spew out its vile pollution into our seas and air and is clearly having a far wider impact than first thought LINK, civil unrest is breaking out all across the world, there seems to be violence and corruption everywhere, there have been an unprecedented number of unnatural weather events, many people I know seem to be falling ill with life threatening diseases, losing their children, struggling financially, to the point of poverty. Yet in my ‘other’ world, where I can talk ‘openly’ about the changes and emotions I’m feeling; in the closed groups on Facebook, the online communities of healers and people fascinated by the meta-physical, the Reiki shares, there is a very different atmosphere.  Despite the fact that the majority of the people in these groups seem to be struggling desperately in one way or another, there is a quickening, a feeling of anticipation, of excitement and exhilaration.  There is a collaboration and a co-operation, an exchange and a sharing between people across the globe that I have never before experienced.  We sense, we know that something huge is about to happen.  And we understand what comes after chaos.

I feel like I shouldn’t admit this, but I am almost hoping that the financial system will crumble, that whole governments will fall, and that we will finally wake up to how much control the huge corporates have been wielding and the total corruption practiced by many of the super-wealthy.  It is a shame that we have to be pushed so hard before we react, but now that more people are opening their eyes we can start to build something wonderful, something fair, something sustainable.  The guidance I have received in recent days has been more practical than spiritual; start a vegetable patch, plant herbs, get some chickens, energise the drinking water and food eaten by my family, make sure the (previously injured, now Reikied!) horse that has stood idle in the field for what seems like forever is well handled and starts to come into work.  I’m listening carefully. These days I have total trust in my inner guidance system. 

Human antibodies

An excerpt from my latest readings.  This time, it’s The Biology of Belief by the wonderful Dr Bruce Lipton:

‘When an immature immune cell produces an antibody protein that is a ‘close’ physical complement to the invading measles virus, that cell will be activated.  Activated cells employ an amazing mechanism cell affinity maturation that enables the cell to perfectly ‘adjust’ the final shape of its antibody protein, so that it will become a perfect complement to the invading measles virus. (Li, et al, 2003; Adams, et al, 2003).  Using a process called somatic hypermutation, activated immune cells make hundreds of copies of their original antibody gene.  However, each new version of the gene is slightly mutated so that it will encode a slightly different shaped antibody protein.  The cell selects the variant gene that makes the best fitting antibody.  This selected version of the gene also goes through repeated rounds of somatic hypermutation to further sculpt the shape of the antibody to become a ‘perfect’ physical complement of the measles virus. (Wu, et al, 2003; Blanden and Stelle 1998; Diaz and Casali 2002; Gearhart 2002)

When the sculptured antibody locks on to the virus, it inactivates the invader and marks it for destruction, thus protecting the child from the ravages of measles.  The cells retain the genetic ‘memory’ of this antibody, so that in the future if the individual is again exposed to measles, the cells can immediately launch a protective immune response.  The new antibody gene can also be passed on to all the cell’s progeny when it divides.  In this process, not only did the cell ‘learn’ about the measles virus, it also created a ‘memory’ that will be inherited and propagated by its daughter cells.  This amazing feat of genetic engineering is profoundly important because it represents an inherent ‘intelligence’ mechanism by which cells evolve. (Steele, et al, 1998).’

And herein lies my point.  I feel cannot help but feel that many lightworkers are a human version of the same system, here to help Mother Earth and her inhabitants rid themselves of a multitude of ‘diseases’.  In my case, and that of hundreds of thousands of other lightworkers at the moment, I’m pretty sure it’s lack, or poverty, or however you want to language it.  Maybe it’s even the whole damn shooting match of money and the financial system. Perhaps this post will compound a situation that is already pretty dire because it doesn’t exactly have me resonating at the vibratory level that I’d like to.  I know that for the past few years I’ve lived and breathed virtually every law of attraction work that has been written, I’ve followed spiritual guidance from the greatest teachers to the letter, I’ve cleared lives past and present in every form imaginable, I’ve meditated, I’ve prayed, I’ve had other people doing the same for me, there can’t be a root cause of pain that I haven’t uncovered, analysed and tried to do something about, I serve and do good wherever I can.

But when you get that call that says that the sale your family has been counting on to survive has been pushed back another few weeks that fear, that terror, jumps right back into position and starts gnawing a big hole in your gut.  How will you feed your family and your animals? How will you pay the electricity bill and keep the phone and Internet turned on? What will your children have to do without? What is wrong with me that I can’t do anything about this?

This fear in turn triggers other emotions and situations and leads me to become judgemental of others; I’m angry with the notary who has held up the sale, I wrongly judge my husband for not having done more to protect his family, I alternate between frustration, depression, despair, desperation, I feel an overwhelming lack of choice, envy of those who are better off, indignation because I deserve better, shame that I have to ask others and am not a better parent.  One thing, lack of money, caused all those feelings, and a great many more.  What is interesting when I examine these thoughts and emotions is that my feet and lips vibrate furiously, the energy rushes up my spine, and my crown chakra really tightens.  I somehow have an innate knowing that I’m somehow communicating this back.  And then I light a candle, I centre myself, I let the emotion and the fear just move on through, I move back into the moment and I know that everything is absolutely perfect.  Everything is as it should be.  All will be well.


I note too that I seem to have triggered an ability to access universal energy in a good number of the people I have given Reiki treatments to. To 'activate' others if you will.  Others I have treated may not actually be using energy, but I notice that they are posting more compassionate or spiritual content  that is out of character for them.

You don’t have to look too far to know that there are thousands of others, recently awakened, recently ‘activated’ as I was, who are feeling like me, experiencing the same issues, the same fears. The question is, what should we be doing to inactivate and destroy what is causing them?

An endless knot

Yet again, another night, another piece of sacred geometry sent to me at a quiet time when I was most definitely not asleep.  I really must start keeping a pen and paper beside my bed so that I can capture them when they are still really clear in my mind.  It came right at the end of the session with Panache Desai that I had nodded off through the night before, just as the theme music was playing and I saw it as clear as a bell.  Although this time I didn’t feel like it was particularly a ‘message’ for me, more that it was some sort of ‘download’, a bit like when you upgrade a computer programme. My entire body was absolutely buzzing with energy both before and after, and sleep was pretty much impossible.

This one was a version of the endless knot (or eternal knot).  How do I know that? I didn’t! But on waking I Googled sacred geometry in the hope that I might see the image amongst the symbols that the search would invariably throw up and it was the very first one I came across!

Information seems to be coming thick and fast to all of us affected by these changes of late.  Many of the spiritual and personal development teachers and speakers who I have been listening to recently are claiming that their latest ‘package’ was a complete ‘download’ from the Divine (Rikka Zimmerman, Panache Desai, Kenji Kumara, Anne Taylor amongst others – Anne Taylor even goes so far as to incorporate requests for God to ‘use his new technology’ in her healing prayer sessions).  Channellings via sources I have grown to trust for their incredible accuracy seem to be coming on a more regular basis and are becoming increasingly more specific.  The intuitive horoscope I receive each day always seems to be bang on the nail.  Each day I have a daily message that pops into my in tray and it is always, always, perfect and exactly what I need to read at that particular moment.  I have no idea how I subscribed to it, or what the source is, and for once it never tries to sell me something or get me to visit a certain website.  New relationships, both virtual and real, seem to be forming at an incredible rate, as pertinent information flows back and forth between the various communities.  I wonder if cells communicate in a similar way, receiving downloads of the information they require so that they can go on to develop into the arm or the leg they were designed to become?

I would stress that what I have been listening to and reading has not all come from the same source.  I’ve been blessed to find incredibly rich and intriguing variety of material from around the globe recently.

So what does the endless or eternal knot represent? According to Wikipedia it is an ancient symbol, one of the eight auspicious symbols and is found in places significantly influenced by Tibetan Buddhism such as Tibet, Mongolia, Tuva, Kalmykia and Buryatia.  There are many variations, however, to be found throughout numerous other cultures such as Chinese knotting and the Celtic knot.

The endless knot has been described as ‘an ancient symbol representing the interweaving of the Spiritual path, the flowing of time and Movement within That Which is Eternal. All existence, it says, is bound by time and change yet ultimately rests serenely within the Divine and the Eternal. (source Wikipedia)

Amongst the various interpretations offered, several of which ‘speak’ to me are:

• Eternal Love and Friendship
• Samsara (the endless cycle of suffering or birth, death and rebirth within Tibetan Buddhisim.
• The inter-twining of wisdom and compassion
• Interplay and interaction of the opposing forces in the dualistic world of manifestation, leading to their union, and ultimately to harmony in the universe
• The mutual dependence of religious doctrine and secular affairs
• The union of wisdom and method

I was also prompted to Google ‘Symbolism Illuminati’ this morning, which is really not ‘my thing’. Leaving aside (or at least, mentally filing for future reference) the usual warnings that these symbols are inherent in our modern society and the many links to Freemasonry, what stood out for me was how powerful these symbols seem to be energetically.  And it once again leads me to wonder about their significance in crop circles found near Leylines around the world.

I also received a very interesting update this morning from the ever-wonderful and talented Elizabeth Peru advising us to be very conscious of being responsible for our energy.  She suggested magnetising the food and water we drink.  One reader replied that they have recently felt compelled to regularly charge their water and that they can taste the difference in their 'Reiki water'.  They said it seems softer, cleaner and seems to have the cellular memory of waterfalls.  I wonder if it is simply to power up our energetic field or if it is also to negate the effect of all the additives, hormones etc in the food & water we buy these days, over which we currently have little control.

Part of a global 'immune system'?

Over recent weeks my ‘Ascension symptoms’ have continued unabated so I was intrigued to come across this article: spiritual awakening quiz and to find that I’ve been regularly experiencing around 45 of the 51 spiritual awakening symptoms.  I’ve grown to welcome and love them; I find the whole experience incredibly exhilarating and exiting.

Yesterday a friend passed me a channelling about the Earth Star chakra that I found particularly interesting: the2012scenario.com/melchizedek.  Ever since I did my first Reiki initiation I have had tingling in my feet and in recent weeks they have vibrated powerfully on a pretty permanent basis – in fact, if my feet aren’t tingling these days I start to wonder what’s wrong! The channelling made quite a lot of sense to me, as you’ll have gathered from my postings on this blog that I sense very strongly that we are somehow linked to an energy network that runs through the earth. The idea that we should become more aware of the flow of energy beneath our feet seems perfect to me at this moment in time.

I dropped off to sleep last night listening to Panache Desai (not that he was dull in any sense you must understand, I plan to listen to the rest later today!).  He said that we were never designed or intended to hold on to our emotions but that they should flow, like all other forms of energy.  I awoke in the wee small hours to a thought to which my initial reaction was fear.  Instead of laying there mithering about it, as I would have done only a few months earlier, I acknowledged the emotion, and then simply observed it.  I felt it, I experienced the sensations it created in me and then I focused on my Earth Star chakra and the most incredible thing happened. The fear immediately vanished, out through my feet.  In its place I felt the most wonderful feeling of love and comfort rising upwards through my body.  I can’t tell you how excited I feel by this new (to me?) technique! I had the feeling that I had just formed part of an emotional anti-viral/immune system for consciousness and the planet.  Almost as if I was monitoring and sharing information about a particular emotional response in order that it could be effectively ‘dealt with’. I shall try it again next time I feel a strong emotion and let you know how I get on.

Another development I have experienced on four occasions now, is seeing strong geometric shapes whilst healing or meditating. I use the term meditating loosely because these days I feel connected pretty much permanently and so meditation has recently consisted more of a bit of quiet time for the inner me.  These have been particularly clear and like nothing I have ever experienced before.  As usual, this has been the prompt for me to explore further. It’s all well and good me receiving these symbols but what the heck are they supposed to mean? Are they even supposed to mean anything, or am I just getting the latest download? They are very similar to the sacred geometry shapes that are regularly found in crop circles.  After a fair bit of research I found that the latest of these was not dissimilar in form to the symbol for the heart chakra, although I’m fairly convinced that there was an Egyptian eye of Horus symbol in the middle instead. 

What wonderful synchronicity then to go to our monthly Reiki share and find we were doing a session on the heart meridian using the various acupuncture points.  When it was my turn to give the treatment, I saw clouds of green (the colour linked to the heart chakra) whilst my guinea pig reported a blissful sensation and seeing bright white light.  When it was my turn to receive, I was very surprised at the strength of the energy that one finger pushing lightly on my arm could generate.  My right arm felt as if it was very constricted and engorged, like energy was being pushed through my arm (like squeezing a tube of toothpaste, or having a blood pressure cuff all the way up my arm).  I felt the energy powerfully from the very tips of my fingers, right the way up my neck to the top of my head.  That night I was so wired with energy I couldn’t sleep at all.  The following morning I had a few emotional moments when an incident of loss that had caused me much grief in my childhood (a horse that I’d looked after for several years at the local riding school was sold without me having had the chance to say goodbye), and which I haven’t thought consciously about for years, came to the forefront of my mind.  And then it simply left, leaving me feeling light and fantastic as it went; almost as if yet another block in my subconscious that had been removed.  This is just one example; all around me old issues seem to be rising to the surface in order to leave.

Struggling with money?

Yesterday a Twitter and Facebook friend and fellow lightworker, who I love to follow and who is clearly struggling financially at the moment posted:

http://pipmiller.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/the-law-of-attraction-and-recognition/

I duly posted back with a variety of techniques for manifesting.  ‘Have you read the 11 Forgotten Laws by Bob Proctor or Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success?’, ‘Give freely what you want to receive’, ‘Visualise what you want to achieve with the money rather than the money itself’, ‘Think about what you are going to do with the money that will help others’, ‘Ask the right questions such as ‘What is right about this that I’m not getting?’, ‘This is not working for me, what needs to change?’, ‘What do I need to do today to change my business/life?’.’  All of which are great techniques…

…but it got me to thinking.

I have hung out on an incredible number of calls and teleconferences recently, and I’m pretty sure that the majority of people on the calls are other like-minded and awakened folk, or healers, mediums, spiritualists in their various guises.  The one thing that has really, really stood out for me is how many of us are in dire financial straits at the moment.  Not just a bit broke, but that gut-churningly, can’t sleep at night, how will I feed the kids and keep a roof over our heads, making ourselves quite literally physically sick with worry, living in total terror type of broke.  It seems that on every call there is a deluge of people asking for advice about how to manifest, and as if to widen the gap, a host or speaker who is doing amazingly well at it.

As a matter of fact, I’ve stunned myself in recent weeks with what I’ve managed to manifest.  An unexpected offer on a house from a client who I’d written off, a client who wanted to pay me for my time and petrol to take them viewing, neighbours turning up with fresh vegetables, buyers making purchases on a website that has not yet gone live.  But what I’ve come to realise is that no matter how much I manifest a corresponding amount seems to ‘slip’ out of my grasp a day or two later.  The big house sale was immediately followed by an obscene tax bill, which left my husband with shoulders sagging and a look of sheer desperation etched across his face again.

Strangely enough, I have gone beyond caring.  I have become remarkably apt at living in that place inside of me where there is no fear or worry, and where I am able to look around me in awe and wonder at all the amazing things that surround me and be glad that I am loved and am of service.  I know that the universe has my back.  When I do get money I give gladly to help others out of a spot, and I have felt compelled to get rid of the ‘Tariffs’ section of my website, replacing it with a ‘Donate’ button which enables people to give what they can afford and if they want to.  I am doing around 15-20 healings a day at the moment, the vast amount of which I do free of charge.  I am making a difference to their lives and know I receive back in so many other ways and I am glad.  But it doesn’t put food on the table, and I think I now know why.

I hesitated before writing this, because I questioned whether it would increase my negative vibrations and put me ‘out of alignment with abundance’, yet another example of ‘I can’t’ which will ultimately drag our family to rock bottom.  Believe me, I’ve thought positively for months on end, I couldn’t begin to count how many affirmations and releasing statements I’ve made and have done everything humanly possible to get rid of ‘karmic debt’.  And yet I find myself wishing with all my heart that someone would come up with a better solution to money; that there would be no taxes (much of which seem to be used to fund greed and war), that half the world wouldn’t be living in poverty to the point of starvation, that we wouldn’t have to pay to educate our children, for health services, our old folk unable to heat their homes and feed themselves. 

And that, my friends, is my point. No matter how much we manifest, I have come to the conclusion that, for the time being at least, it will all go straight back out again because it is meant to be that way.  Because if enough of us are yearning, and I mean truly, powerfully, yearning, for another way, then the power of collective consciousness will somehow make sure that way is found.

The power of cooperation

I haven’t blogged for the past few weeks.  In keeping with the ‘coming out’ theme, I told one or two close family members about this blog and had such a negative response from them, or more precisely, no response at all that I felt unable to post with complete honesty.  It was almost as if they think I’ve gone off the rails a bit, and if nobody ever mentions energy work again then I’ll just go back to being ‘normal’.  Boy, have I got some news for them, energy healing is well and truly integrated into my life (in fact, I struggle to understand how I’ve made it through the past 46 years without using it on a daily basis), and I can’t imagine a future where it isn’t a part of what I do.

Over the past few weeks I feel so much clearer about Reiki and have become fascinated by many other energy healing and intention related modalities.  The ‘ascension symptoms’ have gone on unabated – over the past few weeks I have felt like I’ve had ants in the crown of my head and the small of my back between my shoulder blades tingles pretty much permanently.  I’ve grown to welcome these sensations, and feel so constantly ‘connected’ that on the rare occasion I don’t have some sort of tingling, vibration or buzz somewhere in my body that there’s something not quite right. I don’t feel ungrounded, quite the contrary (and my feet seem hardwired to the earth these days), but I don’t feel I need to ‘call’ the Reiki, it is just continually part of me.

I had planned to use this blog to describe and record various treatments that I’ve been involved in, but it would be a physical impossibility.  In the weeks since I started I have seen so many of what I previously thought of as ‘miraculous’ healings that there simply wouldn’t be the time to document them all.  I can’t say I’ve become blasé, because I am in continual awe and gratitude, but I have had so many emails, texts, and phone calls of thanks that I have pretty much come to ‘expect’ the Reiki to work.  But of course, why would it do anything else? I trust the energy so much. I’m quite overawed by the sheer volume of requests for treatment, and the amazing and consistent results. I’ve treated friends, family, neighbours, people I’ve never met, people who I only have a pseudonym or an email address for, dogs, cats, horses, donkeys, situations.  I’ve done hands-on Reiki and treated people and animals from all around the globe for all manner of illnesses or emotional problems; in France, the UK, USA, South Africa, India, Germany, Ireland, Canada – the list goes on.  And pretty much without exception, the recipients have reported an improvement.  At one point I had too many requests to manage, so decided a group healing for an assorted mix of animals and humans with various ailments across the globe would be better than doing nothing at all.  I sat outside in the garden with a cup of coffee on a glorious spring day and simultaneously sent 19 different treatments (needless to say, it was a longer session than usual).  18 of the 19 noticed a shift (and I haven’t heard from the 19^th, so have no idea whether it worked or not). Truly incredible. And if I can do it, anyone can do it.  It is a basic human right and ability.  I’m not specially gifted, we are all more powerful than we ever knew.  Why aren’t we teaching this stuff in schools?!!! Can you imagine how much taxpayers’ money could be saved?

I have also been experimenting, combining Reiki with intention statements/prayer, to see if the results are more powerful and have been participating in a number of intention experiments for peace.  I can’t wait to see the results; I sort of already ‘know’ what the outcome will be.

One thing that I have noticed is how much energy there is when a group of like-minded people come together, whether physically or in a virtual place.  I have recently started a project to see how effectively Reiki can be used to aid in the recovery from various addictions (if you have previously done any similar work, please get in touch, I’d love to link up) and as a result have sat in on a couple of 12-step meetings.  As someone who now physically feels, and often sees, energy, whether those present in the meetings were consciously aware of it or not, the loving, healing energy in the room was tangible, my entire body was vibrating, and the evident joy in the faces of the recovered addicts helping others back up on their feet was incredible to witness.  There was an amazing sense of connection in the room, and I have no doubt that everyone present sensed that there was something truly wonderful taking place that was far greater than the sum of individuals.  And without exception, everyone felt the ‘buzz’ that I suspect is what many addicts in their various guises have been trying to recreate, but in a far more profound and powerful way.

I have also sat in on many calls in Shifra Hendrie’s Quantum Healing and Touch series and Darius Barazendeh’s Youwealth series (both of which I can’t recommend highly enough) where people from over a hundred countries have come ‘together’. Without fail the energy generated is like nothing I’ve never experienced before, and it’s clear that many seasoned healers on the calls feel the same thing.  So much so that there have often been issues with the technology dropping out as it can’t handle the increased energy at certain key moments.  Interestingly, even if I can’t make the live call, the energy still seems to remain accessible in that virtual ‘place’ and I feel every bit as connected as if I’d been listening to it in real time.

I’ve watched quite a few of Dr Bruce Lipton’s videos on YouTube and each time I have an overwhelming urge to shout ‘Yes, yes, yes’.  The notion of a fractal universe is compelling and I can’t help feeling that it’s at the root of this current shift that many of us are experiencing; the next step in the evolution of mankind.  If 60 trillion cells in our body can cooperate and function in harmony and ease, what would it feel like if approximately 7 billion people on the planet could do the same? I also love Richard Gordon's concept that the more people learn to self-heal specific illnesses or ailments, the easier it becomes for each subsequent person to self-heal, almost as if the collective consciousness has benefited from the previous learning experience.  The love and energy in those physical and virtual meetings was tangible and uplifting. Each time I spent the following day with a silly grin on my face, literally buzzing with happiness.  Imagine it magnified and multiplied. It might be a cliché, there may be very many people who think it’s impossible.  I’m not one of them. In fact I was listening to Donna Eden, an exceptional healer whose gift is to see the earth’s energy, only last night and she was saying that the colour of the earth seems to be changing from violet to indigo and/or opalescent/crystalline as the vibration of the planet is being raised (Donna Eden interview).  I hear many people say that we’ve been here before as recently as the flower power sixties, but nothing changed.  I believe that the many violet people on the planet at the time were a step in the process.  They didn’t have the technology that we do today in the sixties, the Internet, mobile phones. I believe we have reached a tipping point, a critical mass of people who are alive to the possibilities. And that yes, our version of heaven on earth is entirely possible.

A week of learning

What a week this has been. Comparatively (and perhaps a little frustratingly if I’m being honest) quiet on the Reiki front. Instead it has been a time for discovery and intensive learning – every spare moment has been spent reading or listening to MP3 downloads about spirituality, collective consciousness and the metaphysical.  As I’m writing this there is yet another halo of light around the moon that is shining through my window.  Having listened to Shifra Hendrie’s Authentic Kabbalah series earlier in the week http://www.kabbalahoftransformation.com/authentic.html and gained a deeper understanding about the relationship between sun and moon I’m looking at it with new eyes.

The series was an easy stepping-stone to some of the most fascinating speakers I have listened to: http://www.quantumhealingandsoul.com/ (you have to register, but you don’t get spammed to death afterwards).  More of the inspiring Jennifer Hough, who leaves me buzzing each time I hear her speak. I loved Rikka Zimmerman’s take on the collective mind and was particularly intrigued by the concept that, in much the same way as I have become aware of other people’s energies, all those thoughts that keep popping into my heads might not necessarily be my own. Alex Lloyd’s Healing Codes has made it onto my ‘must buy’ list; what he had to say about cellular memory made so much sense and the results are compelling and scientifically supported. Lynne McTaggart’s Intention Experiment and the way she sees consciousness and community rang so many bells.  It was brilliant to have confirmation that collective intention is being proven to have an effect on things such as the growth of plants and conflict resolution. I knew it! After listening to her for just an hour and a half I came away thinking ‘Yes! This is what it’s all about!’ and consequently have loads of new projects on the cards.

I also did Rav Daniel Kohn’s meditation in the middle of the night, whilst I was on the cusp of sleep.  At the start I felt a little uncomfortable about the fact that it seemed a bit religious, but I decided to remain objective and leave my mind open.  The meditation generated an incredible amount of energy that seemed undiminished by the fact that I was listening to a replay.  What was particularly intriguing is that at a key point in the meditation my 11-year-old daughter who happened to be sleeping in bed next to me that night started gabbling away in her sleep, speaking very clearly but in a language that was neither English nor French, a language that I did not recognise.

Lots of learning about the effects of the recent solar flares and ‘Ascension Symptoms’, or Ascension Flu as many are referring to it (and I can see why)  http://laurabruno.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/ascension-symptoms-and-solar-flares/, both in theory and first hand.  I’ve felt absolutely exhausted for the past few days, so much so that I gave up and spent much of Saturday in bed.  Piercing headaches (which I’m not usually prone to), check, sinus pains (but no cold), check, tingling and pulling in my jaw, check, tender scalp, check, pain around crown and brow chakra, check, constant ringing in the ears, check, sense of tipping forward, check, fluid retention (despite eating well, drinking no alcohol whatsoever and getting plenty of exercise), check, hot flashes (but I am mid-menopause…), check, feeling that ‘Now’ is incredibly important, check, knowing rather than linear thinking, check, incredible happiness (and optimism for the future, I’d say), check. Add to that list a vibrating tongue and bottom lip, inability to concentrate, and a ball of tingling energy behind my heart on the left side of my back.

Learning too about the five new (or new to me?) chakras http://aquariusflowerremedies.com/pdf/extendedchakras.pdf. 

So much learning to do, and at the same time it feels like time has speeded up and there’s never enough time to fit everything in.  I can’t believe where the months are going to, they seem to be flying by and not just because I’m not getting any younger, is it something to do with the higher vibrations?

Letting go

I didn’t think there were any more layers to peel but I have just woken from the most terrifying dream in which I received the news that my cancer had come back and was bigger than before.  It was incredibly vivid and I felt every emotion as I did when I received the initial diagnosis; fear, anger or more precisely a furious rage, bewilderment, incredulity, sheer terror at the thought of not being around to see my girls grow up.  It was preceded by a feeling of complete exhaustion, so much so that I had to take myself back to bed yesterday afternoon, although there was absolutely nothing ‘wrong’ with me. I had been on the cusp of sleep for most of the night, being aware of the energies pulsing through my body, and at times having a (completely painless) sensation almost as if someone was ‘digging’ in my leg. When my alarm went off this morning I was repeating over and over in my head the mantra ‘I am in perfect health, I am in perfect health, I am in perfect health’. This morning I have a blinding headache and feel absolutely shattered, the kind of tiredness that you would recognise if you have experienced acute or long-term illness, grief or our good old friend chemotherapy.

I honestly thought that I was ok with the fact that I’d had cancer and had moved on, but clearly the terror has remained on a very deep-seated level.  I felt sick to my stomach when I awoke.  A lot has been written recently about the energy of the moment being about letting go and releasing old negativities, so I can recognise this for what it is.

Yesterday I had been reading about being aware of your inner guidance (check out the wonderful #SoulCall on Twitter), and before I nodded back off to sleep in the night I had prayed that the guidance I was being given would be made a bit more obvious so that I could find the right path. Well, that was about as obvious as it gets. This morning my head is screaming over and over ‘Change your life!!!’ and it suddenly seems blindingly obvious that I have somehow fallen back into the old routine of working all hours at a job that I’m no longer passionate about, just to make ends meet. I’ve slipped back into precisely the old, joyless patterns that I had sworn had made me ill in the first place. Ok, ok, I hear you loud and clear, and believe me, I’m ready for a change. However, that eternal problem - needing to feed the family - remains so my inevitable next question is ‘Now what?’

Gratitude

Firstly, let me make it clear that I don’t work with Reiki with the intention of seeking recognition.  In fact, in recent weeks I have often worked anonymously as part of a distant healing group. However, I have recently given quite a few treatments at a distance for which I have received no feedback from the recipients.  Frequently I have heard via a third party that the treatments have been effective, but even if, on the face of it, a treatment hasn’t worked it would be helpful to know so that I can learn and improve.

So what joy to open my email and Facebook messages and find several messages from people I have never physically met, thanking me for the role I have played in their healing, or that of their pet, full of gratitude that I have given my time. What power was held in just a few lines.  I felt amazing all day, like I had helped to make a difference.  What a wonderful reminder to me that I, in turn, should say a huge ‘thank you’ to Source and my guides at the end of each treatment.  And that I should put Mikao Usui’s advice into practice at every opportunity throughout my life :

‘Just for today I will give thanks for my many blessings’.

Poignant messages

I just thought I’d share a couple of random events that I felt were significant given all the recent changes in my life

When I went to my first yoga class we had to pick a card with a crystal on it.  I picked ‘amethyst’ which the accompanying book told me was for ‘Divine connection’.  I have later read it that amethyst encourages readiness for action, clears negative energy, enhances spiritual awareness, psychic abilities and meditation as well as helping to bring inner peace and healing of body, mind and soul and positive transformation.  What could have been more appropriate?

Then a couple of days ago, a friend selected a tarot card for a group who I’ve been very drawn to recently.  It was the magician and the words on the card read:

You have the power to manifest your desires.

Charisma and personal energy radiate from you.

It is your gift to be able to enter sacred space and bring spiritual energy into the world of matter.

When you focus your will, passion and joy creative energy flows through you.

It is not enough to have focus and intention.

You know these must be followed by action.

Your creativity energises you and blesses those around you.

Align yourself with the heartbeat of the earth and bring forth healing for the planet and all her creatures.

Make things happen.

Community

For me these past few weeks have been all about community and letting go.  I am starting to have a much clearer idea about what I want to be doing with my life, but it is nevertheless an enormous leap of faith to move away from a business I have created and nurtured myself and which I have been working on for many years.  There have been days when I’ve wobbled and thought it is insane, particularly when it comes to putting bread on the table for my family. Nevertheless I am compelled by the notion that I want to heal, need to heal even, I want to write and, more importantly I want to be involved somehow as a catalyst for positive change on our planet. To make a difference in some small way.  I have been spending less time in unfulfilling activities and relationships and instead have walked the legs of my poor dog, sung my head off and laughed a lot.  I seem to be attracting many new people into my life who are experiencing the same energies as me, who understand the fantastic changes in my life.

I went to my first Reiki share, which was a wonderful experience.  It was really good to chat with others and to see how they instinctively they worked.  I found it very liberating and it gave me the reassurance to trust my own intuition during a treatment. My fabulous, fabulous Reiki master also firmly put all my worries about taking on other people’s energies to bed, explaining that whilst I might be aware of their energy I was under absolutely no obligation to take it on myself and that I should not be afraid.  It has been a great relief to be able to notice other people’s energies, but to make the distinction between what is theirs and what is mine.  This simple strategy has been very simple to put in place and has had an immediate effect.

Every day I acquire and chat with new friends all across the globe who are having similar experiences. People whose lives seem to be have been turned into turmoil and who are also abandoning everything and going with the flow rather than fighting against what seems inevitable. In a constant quest to learn more I chat to people on Facebook, surround myself with likeminded people who inspire me on Twitter, have dived into #spiritchat discussions, I’ve joined a fantastic Cosmic Circle through whom I’ve learned some great new meditation techniques, and have registered as a volunteer for a distant healing network.  I’m convinced that social networking is all part of God’s strategy to tease out a new collective consciousness, an improved way of interacting and of taking responsibility for the future of our planet. 

I have experienced dreams and meditations the like of which I have never known before in my life, dreams I couldn’t even start to describe as the right words don’t exist, dreams in glorious technicolour with full-on wrap-around sound.  For the past while the same idea keeps cropping up, and I know I’m going to have to explore it in more detail.  To start with it was just a gentle prompt to imagine my world as it might look without all the things that make life difficult, sad, gloomy or which are just plain wrong. What a delicious way to spend half an hour as you’re waking up in the morning or drifting off to sleep at night.  Then, regularly and more pointedly, the question keeps popping into my head, over and over, ‘What if the law of attraction is not just about manifesting things on an egotistical basis? What if the intention from the outset was for the law of attraction to be used by a collective consciousness, a community of souls, to make this planet a better place, to manifest the change required to heal the very many things that are wrong at the moment?’ 

And therein lies the rub, because those of you who know me will also know that up to this point in time I haven’t had the greatest results in manifesting things. Probably because the things I’ve tried to bring into my life have been for selfish reasons.  I guess I have some learning to do.  We may all have some learning to do.