Dharma

I’m very mindful that people reading this blog will either think I’m writing a load of nonsense or will be much further along their spiritual journey than I am.  I’m quite sure a lot of my personal ‘discoveries’ will seem very basic and obvious to many of you.

As I gain in years I am realising I should trust my intuition. When I don’t, and I use my head instead life has a habit of jumping up and biting me on the bum and frequently proves to me that I have made a massive error of judgement. From people I have chosen to work with despite a niggling feeling that there was something less than honest about them who have later ‘shafted me’ in business, to ponies I have bought on the advice of knowledgeable horse dealers despite a feeling that they’re ‘not quite right’ and which later turn out to have major psychological issues to sort out.  When I was policing many a ‘hunch’ turned out to be bang on the nail.

I have read much that says that everyone has a dharma, a purpose in life, but to be honest I didn’t have much of a clue what that meant for me, what mine was. I asked the question as I was coming out of my morning meditation but didn’t really expect an answer, and certainly not this quickly.  I have often read too that you should go with things that seem easy to you, that are effortless, that bring you joy. Going with the flow. I thought I’d been doing that with the business I’ve been running for the past seven years, but it is a struggle in comparison.  This blog just seems to be writing itself. Despite the fact that it is deeply personal and I am a total beginner at this I have an overwhelming compulsion to share my experiences in the hope that it may touch others at some level. This feels like more than idle curiosity, more than being able to give a nice massage to help a close friend or family member relax; it is a desire to learn, to go on learning and to pass on what I’ve learned so that others can use it or benefit from it too.

Laura, my Reiki master, told me that once you felt these changes there was no going back, you can only go forward from this point.  I am filled with a profound sense that everything that has happened to shape me up to this point in life has happened for a reason and that, even though I have much to learn, I may finally be on the way to finding my dharma.

Paradigm shift?

Isn’t it funny how I knew virtually no-one who did Reiki, and yet suddenly so many people seem to be drawn into my world that either have been trained in it and use it themselves or who have had energetic experiences of some sort or another? I put a comment on Facebook to the effect that I’d booked my first course and was expecting a load of quips (especially from the blokes in my life) to accompany the support from those closer to me. What in fact materialised was a string of comments from people who I’d never have imagined being interested in such things, all of whom had either trained as Reiki healers or who dreamt of doing so. Mad. It’s like buying a new car and then seeing the same make everywhere you look.

 

I went to a meeting yesterday and mentioned in the break that I was off on a Reiki course the following week. No sooner than the words were out of my mouth than the chap who was hosting the lunch went to his bookshelf and produced a treasured copy of Barbara Brennan’s Hands of Light – A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field which he has very kindly lent me. What a fascinating book, so honest and full of insight. It gripped me into the wee small hours last night.

 

I seem to read things that leap out at me from every source imaginable that make me realise that many credible people I’ve admired over the years have a deep understanding and respect for these energetic forces, even if they might package it up differently and put their own particular human label on it. I’m not talking about overtly religious or spiritual works, although of course they are equally valid. The wonderful Sally Swift and her amazing Centred Riding book, the world-class show jumper Michel Robert and his visualisation techniques before a round & coaching methods (you might have noticed I am horsey…), Marie-Claire Carlyle whose How to Become a Money Magnet inspired me when our backs were up against a financial wall, the amazing Australian speaker and lifestyle coach DrJoanna Martin who really grasps how women can capitalise on their female strengths, and Bob Proctor of course with The Secret and The 11 Forgotten Laws.  Albert Einstein, I read in Barbara Brennan's book, once said ‘I maintain that cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest incitement to scientific research’. Albert Einstein for heaven’s sake, you don’t get much more credible than that. Barbara Brennan herself is not only a healer, but has an MS in Atmospheric Physics and was a research scientist for NASA. Frankly I’m incredulous that I’ve scraped through the past 45 years without realising.

 

Everywhere I look, at business conferences, in webinars, in books I read and articles that are tweeted I keep coming across references to the huge paradigm shift that lies ahead. An evolution of mankind, a fine honing of our consciousness and a desire to do go about life in a more organic, compassionate and collaborative way, a more feminine way. My Reiki teacher Laura Lefebvre said she has more contacts than ever before recently from people wanting to learn from her. There is much talk of a massive increase in energy that is compelling this process to happen. I can’t help feeling that it’s true, and I know from the very depths of me that I want to be part of that change.

Trust your instincts

Many a great mind has offered up the possibility that stress can make you ill. This is not a new idea; it’s something that most of us accept to be true.

You know how when you’re in some sort of conflict with someone, a row for example, or you are worried or frightened by something you can feel a sort of knot in your chest, or a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? Since I started becoming more attentive to and trusting in my emotions and my instinct I’ve become more and more convinced that this ‘bad feeling’ is at the root of many of the illnesses I have befallen at various times in my life. When I was in hospital having chemotherapy I was struck by how many of the patients being treated at the same time as me had experienced a major life trauma just prior to their illness, people who’d been caring for their partner with a long-term illness, who’d just experienced the death of a loved one, whose business was in difficulty. Ever had a really bad run in life, when nothing seems to go right? I’m increasingly coming to the conclusion, this is nothing new I know, that these negative thoughts and feelings just attract more of the same but that it is possible to flip the coin and to change them for something positive and good. Not only that, but that it is possible to heal the effects of the negativity that has already marked out lives. I’m not yet sure how, but I’m hoping that I’m going to start to find out.



I'm so excited

Yay, I’ve gone and done it. I’m booked in to do my Reiki Stage I next Tuesday. I found a Master via Google and then opted for the one whose website spoke to me the most.

Yesterday I went along for an introductory meeting with Laura Lefebvre a (sorry folks, the link's in French because I live in France). I warmed to her immediately.  She spent an hour explaining the four stages, or degrees, of learning Reiki.  In the first I will learn some of the history, principles and philosophy of Reiki, self-Reiki and will be able to practice at a basic level on others a short while later (which I’m hoping will come in handy as I have a daughter who suffers from migraines). I will learn to channel.  It makes sense that there is a time period in between the degrees in which to assimilate and put into practice what has been acquired.

 

 

The second degree will look at Reiki in more depth, the various symbols, working at distance, cellular memory and a detailed look at thoughts and emotions.  The third and fourth degrees, obviously a long way in the future, seem aimed at really putting you in touch with the soul and enable you to pass on your knowledge to other pupils and other teachers.

I’ve been told to expect that I should bring something warm to wear after my first session as people often feel a chill after the initiations. I’ve also been advised that frequently old symptoms or illnesses represent themselves, sometimes years after they were last experienced.  This is the body’s way of cleansing itself and should be viewed as entirely normal.

With a lifetime of horses, ponies and numerous other animals in and out of my world, with all their respective ailments, I was also really pleased to learn that Reiki can work equally well for them and that they would instinctively seek out someone who was able to help them when necessary.  I’ll let you know how I get on.

Feelings & motivations

Now can I just put the record straight and say that I’m not a tree hugger. I’m a professional businesswoman and before that spent a good many years in the public sector in a very male environment in both the army and the police. There aren’t many things left to shock me. Nor am I a total crackpot. Well, maybe I am a little, but no madder than the next man. Please understand that I’m not attention seeking, although I won’t be at all surprised to see comments from sceptics as this blog evolves suggesting that’s the case.

I’m not drawn to Reiki out of idle curiosity, although I won’t for one second diminish those that are; we all have our own paths to follow. I can only describe it as something I feel like I am compelled to do, something I must do, something I need to give back.  Does it sound too flaky (there’s that word again) if I say it feels like a bit of a calling? Hey you guys, I’m putting myself on the line here. I might be useless at it and then what a prat I’m going to look.  But I’m a great believer in living life in the moment. Nothing ventured and all that.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone? You know that feeling you have in those heady first few days when you think about the bloke of your dreams? Well I’ve been feeling a bit like that. All sort of warm and cosy and glowing, and peaceful all at the same time. But I can sort of feel it like a physical thing. There, I’ve said it. She’s barking I can hear you all saying. And I can’t tell you why, but I know instinctively that Reiki is the right way to go at this particular moment in my life.

Why Reiki?

So here I am at the start of my Reiki journey. I’m none too clear as to the reasons for starting this blog; in part as my own record of my discoveries, partly as a (I hope) ‘told you so’ to all those sceptics who think I’m barking mad and in part because I have a feeling very deep inside me that this is something to be shared.

I had been suffering quite badly with carpel tunnel syndrome, a kind of blocked nerve in the wrist, which was making it very difficult for me to hold small objects (not ideal as I was working with horses at the time and had to use needles to plait several times a week). I had been on the waiting list for an operation for nearly two years when Beryl told me she would pray for me at a group meeting that evening.  I thought it completely ridiculous, but my carpel tunnel disappeared immediately, and, more than twenty years down the line, I have never been troubled with it since.  I recall my mum suffering from chronic back pain. Every year the whole family went to the pub before Christmas lunch and mum had to be helped in. Beryl was there with us and offered to help. There was no hint of showing off but nevertheless we were mortified at what she was doing in the middle of the pub and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one cringing. But my mum walked out of there unaided, and I still remember the heat that was coming from her back when I touched it. So, I’ve always wished I could do the same thing for people but up until recently I believed it was something that was a gift that was only available to a chosen few.  I’ve also used homeopathy successfully in the past, on babies with conjunctivitis, to treat a thyroid problem, post-natal depression, and to treat animals, and I have always had a deep respect for complementary therapies that channel energy in various ways and the view that you don’t have to be a believer or even aware of the treatment for them to be effective.

2010 was a particularly difficult period in my life involving in a year of operations, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy to treat breast cancer and was accompanied by all the stresses and family complications that go hand-in-hand with being self-employed and unable to work. I found myself starting, partly in desperation I’m sure, to read books on the law of attraction. Whilst they made sense to me I didn’t feel that they were giving the whole picture. Then I discovered Deepak Chopra’s ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’  and many of the pieces slotted into place. There was something in what he wrote that fitted comfortably with what I had always believed deep inside of me, it all made huge sense. I started to meditate (not very well I hasten to add, I’m sure there are monkeys inside my head!) each morning. What a blessing to find a quiet place where I was justified in pushing all the worries to one side. And how much energy I felt afterwards to get through the day.  I started sleeping better at night, me who usually lay awake from 2am onwards & gave up and started working by 4 or 5am.

The turning point came for me three weeks ago when I was at a particularly low point in my life with overwhelming challenges coming from every direction. During this time I became friends with a very lovely lady who suggested I should pray. So, feeling somewhat foolish, that is exactly what I did. I got down on my knees and I asked for whatever higher power that existed to give me help to turn all the horribly difficult times I had been experiencing over the past few years into something positive and constructive that could benefit other people.  




Several days later, I was at a conference for businesswomen in London, where 12 inspirational multi-millionaire women gave three days of presentations. One of the speakers was Jennifer Hough who created one of the biggest holistic clinics in Canada. She blew me away. She asked the three or four hundred women present to silently find a partner that we had never met before. I was paired with a black woman (who I later found to come from the same area of France that am living). We had to hold hands with them and look into their eyes. It felt a bit flakey if I’m being honest. After several uncomfortable minutes I realised that there was a real connection, not between our bodies but between what was inside both of us. We then had to hug each other and breathe into each other. Oh my god. Just what you’d intended to be doing at a business conference. Not. But we did, and I just can’t describe the energy that filled that room. I felt a physical change in the area beneath my heart and an incredible lightness of spirit and a profound understanding that we are part of something far, far bigger. Not everyone in the room ‘got it’, but there were several women in the room who were moved to tears.  I can’t explain what has changed in me, I guess you might call it a ‘spiritual awakening’ but I have held onto that feeling ever since. It has put a spring in my step and given real joy, a sense of peace and a meaning to my day. I feel incredibly grateful for everything around me and, not wanting to sound too anoraky, feel a real compulsion, a drive, to learn more, to share it with those around me and to help others. What a gift Jennifer has been given, how wonderful would it be to make even the tiniest impact on other people’s lives in return. That day has truly changed my life, I need to give something back.